McCain Saves the Day

I filed my taxes by the extension deadline of Sept. 15. With everything that’s going on with the investment banks, do you think they’ll just keep my economic stimulus payment and use it as a credit towards the new taxes I’ll owe as a result of the $700 billion bailout, er, “rescue package” for the financial industry?

My prediction is this: McCain’s recent announcement to suspend his campaign to work on the economic crisis is a set-up, a trap into which the American public is unwittingly walking into.

Sure, we’re skeptical on a surface level and feel he’s more or less chickening out on the debates, coincidentally on the day when his numbers started to decline. But I believe there’s much, much more.

It’s a sinister, twisted, complicated web and I, as a lowly writer, don’t claim to understand the inner workings of Wall Street, the Treasury, mortgage-backed securities (or the republican psyche, for that matter). But I read enough to understand the basics, which entitles me to form my latest conspiracy theory… (Thanks in advance for indulging me.)  
Economic Catastrophe: Scene One. Act One.

“Gloom and Doom. Heap on the fear.”

On September 24, Bush addressed the nation in a speech that sets up the dire situation our country is facing, and stressed the need to help out the financial institutions that are the backbone of our economy – without which our country, and the world as we know it, will collapse.

In his speech, he supports the $700 billion bailout and concedes that, yes, “It is difficult to pass a bill that commits so much of the taxpayers' hard-earned money…” He went on to say, “I also understand the frustration of responsible Americans who pay their mortgages on time, file their tax returns every April 15th, and are reluctant to pay the cost of excesses on Wall Street….But given the situation we are facing, not passing a bill now would cost these Americans much more later.”

• Forget the notion that this enormous sum is essentially a blank check that would be entrusted to a non-elected official, and the plan includes no monitoring or regulation, no relief for distressed homeowners or taxpayer protection.
• Forget that the American people will have no idea where the money actually goes – or who profits from it.
• Forget the theory (also a good one), that the Bush Administration and all of their Wall Street cronies are cleverly, confusingly and hurriedly creating this bill – months before the end of his presidency - as a way to bilk a few billion (possibly TRILLION) dollars out of the American taxpayers – to again, save and BENEFIT the Power Elite (of which Bush is included).

No, here’s my prediction – maybe it’s naïve. Miraculously, somehow in this situation, McCain is going to emerge victoriously. If anyone could pull it off, it's this administration. They've gotten away with so much already.    
The set-up:

McCain wanted to postpone the debates to appear as though he was “working on this issue” more so than Obama. Now, if a new solution comes about - a new plan: one that amends or counters altogether the $700 billion proposal; one that doesn’t involve taxpayers shelling out hard-earned wages to bail out the banks – it will be touted as McCain’s “big idea.”
   
What’s more, he will use the public outcry over the government bailout as an example of why "socialist-run" programs are wrong, how they don’t work - and how opposed all Americans (regardless of their political affiliation) really are to the idea of “big government.”

It's perfect timing: the MONTH before the election. People remember the things they see the most often and most recently. This will be top-of-mind come November 4. My guess is "McCain's solution" will be presented just before then.
  
Maybe my theory is oversimplified – maybe it’s defeatist. Again, I’m no Wall Street insider. But can’t you see it now? McCain will single-handedly be painted as the guy that saves America. The White Knight. The problem-solver, directing our country out of this terrible, Great Depression-like situation.

Talk about a coup. (And scene.)